When I was shitcanned off a job this summer, I bought myself a present with my last per diem payment. Blew most of the wad on a beautiful ring which is kinda hard to describe, but here goes:
The ring is quite wide. Within its top and bottom borders are four "rings" which move. You can twist each ring separately or en masse. On each revolving ring is the alphabet. So you can play with the four revolving rings and make words. Or the ring comes up with words on its own, whenever you care to look for them.
I often check for a word, and when I've found one I see if there are any others. These become the word/s of the day - my "i ching," basically. The day I put the bid on the house, I checked the ring after - it said "Leap."
Pretty good, right?
So today's word is "slog." I checked for the word after I got off the phone with my ex-husband (technically not Ex, as we haven't done the divorce yet, but that's another post). Anyhow, he still doesn't have the money he owes me for the matrimonial house. Oh, he'll definitely have it in mid-January. Definitely. But this time he doesn't have it because he is waiting for his Notices of Assessment. Which he was (years) late filing. Which I swear he told me he had a month or so ago. But now he doesn't. And he can't get a mortgage without them. Although I could have. And other self-employed people can. But he can't. I guess because the bank heard how he promised to pay me the money at the end of July, SIX MONTHS AGO, and he didn't, so clearly he is a credit risk.
So that's the slog. Part of it. Because the other part is I'm dropping off our daughter at the Hell House in the country tomorrow afternoon, and his Not-A-Girlfriend will probably be there. So I have to ask him about when I'm going to get my money while HorseFace is there. Standing in my house (until he buys me out). Which I'd happily sell to her, since she spends more time there than I do. (And she gets to sleep over. Which I don't. Because it makes him feel weird.)
(Fuck, if I didn't hate that house so much I'd stay over tomorrow night just to fuck him up.)
It's weird but I feel like the supplicant here. Somehow, he's got the power because I want the money he owes me and I have to keep going to him, over and over, asking when I'm going to get it. And he promises he'll get it, and he never does. It's just like being married, where he swore he'd change and I believed him and nothing ever happened.
So why do I keep believing him?
I feel like I've got no choice. If I go the lawyer route, he doesn't have the money anyhow, although it would possibly force him to sell the Hell House - but I think I'd end up with less, because I doubt the house is worth now what it was accessed for four years ago, and it could end up taking just as long.
Christ, this is the lament of a loser.
This is a slog.
Now when you find the word of the day it has to be spelled out, no mistake - but once you've got that word locked, you get to look for other words, and if it requires a little wiggle to get a second word, or even a third, that's OK, because they are branches off the first. The second word of the day didn't need a wiggle today, though. To go along with slog, today we have "ibex."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpine_Ibex
It's a fancy word for mountain goat.
So here's my "i ching" read. I am in the middle of another laborious mucky walk, but i'm built for it, baby. I am an excellent climber and my foraging skills can't be beat. Although we ibexes have approached extinction, we're (stamp) still (head butt) here (horn clash).
But just for the record, tonight, my ex-husband is a dick.
